A Little Bit In Love
by Writing Memories
Summary: Dean and Sam have been dealing with now, human Cas for the past few months. Now back at the Men-Of-Letters Bunker dealing with a new local case. Dean starts to deal with his feelings for Cas, while Cas has done what he always done about his, holding back how he feels, until a moment between them changes what they both have always done, hiding this love.


_He's in love with you._

Dean had walked and walked, anywhere.

His brother just told him Castiel loved him. What does he know? He's just taking the piss. Sam takes the piss a lot, this is just another one. Isn't it?

* * *

"_Shut up, Sam." Dean said calmly. How was he calm? He wanted to feel something, anything, but he was just calm. "He's like a brother to me. We are just close. The guy pulled me from hell for crying out loud." He didn't look at Sam. He just looked through files on the table._

"_Then ask him. Ask him if he's in love with you if you are so sure, Dean." Sam didn't care who his brother loved or who loved him, as long as Dean was happy. As happy as you can get as a hunter. That was another question that was always in Sam's mind. Did Dean love Cas? There were times when he was pretty sure, but he knew what Dean's answer would be._

"_I am not going to ask my best friend if he's in love with me! Are you crazy?!" Now Dean was starting to feel angry. Not the angry he feels when wanting to kill, angry because he knew there could be a little bit of truth in there. "Just drop it, Sammy, okay? Let's work on this case and when Cas comes back for the shopping, we will go ask that woman some questions." Dean pulled his eyes away from Sam and back to the information on this missing person. What are the chances of Sammy dropping it? Zero._

_Sam let out a sigh and shook his head. His brother was just too stubborn. He loved him too bits, but he was the only one who could drive him insane sometimes._

"_Do you love him?" The words just came out. Maybe he shouldn't have said them, but they are out there now._

"_I will knock you out, throw your body in the back of the car, drive you to a bridge, and throw you into the water to drown…if you do not stop." It was a bit over the top, but Dean was capable of it, even though he wouldn't do it to Sam, but still, maybe it would get him to shut up._

"_A simple no or yes would have been fine. Not deciding how I would die." A smile appeared on Sam's face for a second before he remember what they are talking about._

"_What part of the whole, I am into girls, do you not understand?" Dean gets up from the table and walks over to the window. He couldn't even look at his brother. Not because he was mad because Sammy would know, he would know full well._

"_Fine. Now let me say this. When you really fall for someone, when it's not just sex, why are you with them? It's because of who they are. Not because of what gender they are or what they look like. You fall in love with the person Dean, not the gender. And the person you fall for, there is only one of them. So when you think if I liked guys wouldn't I of liked them before him? Maybe. But in your case no. They were never Cas. The only other two people I have seen you this close with are your own brother and Bobby. Not even Dad."_

"_Are you done?" Dean was stood looking out the window. It was pouring out. It was three AM in the day. And there was his annoying brother at the table, trying to get the truth out of him. He needed to leave this room._

"_Yeah. I'm done."_

"_Good. Now listen to me when I say Cas is not in love with me. However you thought of that, I don't know. But you have better things to be doing. And I do not fall for anyone because we can never be happy. So don't talk bullshit like that because you and I can never be happy. While we still live this life, we can't be happy." Sam knew Dean was right about the being happy part. But they couldn't be happy with humans that knew nothing about this, who didn't have a life in this. But Cas, even though human now, was still always going to be involved in their type of world. There was no getting out._

_Since Cas became human that's when it became more obvious to Sam looking at Cas and Dean. There was always something there, but this was Cas and Dean, best friends against the world that are both as stubborn as each other. And when the both of them are stubborn at the same time, it does Sam's head in._

"_If there is any happiness you can get in this world Dean, take it. Take it with both hands and don't let go when you don't have to." And that was the last thing Sam was going to say to Dean about this, today._

_Dean had no time to answer and lucky for him that was good, because he had no answer. He just needed to leave._

_Cas came down the stairs of the closest home they would ever have. He carried two bags of stuff and entered the study, where Sam and Dean spent most of their time. Cas looked exhausted as he put down the bag's on the table._

"_Cas, how much food do you think we need?" Sam laughed as he looked in the bags. _

"_There was a lot of buy one get one free, and Dean eats a lot, so I thought why not." Cas took a seat beside Sam and watched as Sam took out random things. Dean was still stood looking out the window. He hadn't looked at Cas since he walked through that door. Hearing his voice was enough. Hearing his voice made it worse._

_Okay, he had to go. _

"_When did you start reading?" Sam looked at the book he took out of the bag._

"_It was free. There were books there to take and the shopkeeper told me to go ahead and take one."_

"_And of course you pick the twilight one." Sam chuckled. He stopped when Dean turned from the window and started to walk out of the room. _

"_Dean?" Cas said worried. The look on Dean's face made Cas know something was wrong. But Dean had gone out of the room and up the stairs before Cas could react and ask what's wrong._

* * *

He was going to have too go back sometime, he knew that. He had walked until he stopped at the lake that was down the road. He must have walked far enough because in driving distance that lake is ten minute away. He sat on the bench that was placed on the grass overlooking the lake. There was no one around. There was really never anyone around. But then again it was in the middle of nowhere. It was quiet and peaceful and that's just what Dean needed right now.

Dean didn't feel things. He stopped himself from feeling so much when he just kept losing everybody he loved. He was going to lost Sammy and Cas someday. He already had a few times, but there will come a day when it's for good, so why be happy? Why pretend that he's not scared of losing them _every_ second of everyday?

The closest he came to having a really happy life was with Ben and Lisa and now they don't even remember him. And he did love them. He really loved him. But he had to let them go. He wasn't letting them be in danger any longer.

_You fall in love with the person ,Dean, not the gender._

Dean believed that. He really did. But he was always into girls so why now does that change. Why just because it's Cas, does it have to change. He had never liked a guy like this before, so why on earth was it Cas?

_It's because of who they are._

So what, he just felt in love with Cas, not mattering that he was a dude? Not caring about the sex? Just knowing how Cas makes him feel.

He saved him. He continues to save him. He's Dean's best friend. He's family to him. He makes Dean happy, even just for a second, happy in this life sometimes. Makes him laugh at silly things Cas does. Or when Dean prays Cas always comes, well did. He gave Dean something too believe in.

Okay, so he does all of that. But his brother does the same. So why is Cas any different? And that's when Dean thought, what is love to him, what is really loving someone mean to him?

He hid those feelings because he thought they would go away. He thought they weren't real. That he just imagined it. Maybe Cas had just died so often that Dean couldn't bare losing him again and those feelings felt like being in love with someone? No. No he was making excuses now. Wasn't he? He really didn't know.

He was tired, he was so god damn tired of not knowing how he felt. And then Sam goes and makes it worse and not to mention Cas is there every freaking second seeing as he's human now. And him being human doesn't make a different. He's still Cas, he's always going to be Cas, angel or not.

Dean hears footsteps on the stone's coming towards him. He wished he could just disappear. He didn't want to talk. He just…he didn't know.

He knew who it was. He didn't look around; he just looked down to his hands that are playing with a stone. Cas didn't say a word and just sat down beside him. Neither one seemed to care that it was raining. It wasn't heavy, just a light drizzle. Dean had just walked out without a coat on. Cas held Dean's green jacket in his hands. He himself wearing one of Dean's old jackets, he had giving to Cas.

They had gotten him out of the trench coat and suit. But truth be told Sam and Dean missed it because it really made Cas, Cas. So Dean and Sam had just giving some of their clothes to Cas. Sam's was a little too big, but that didn't bother Cas. At least he had dean's that fit. And Cas had some random dress choices. Today he was wearing Dean's trousers and jacket, with his old shirt and tie. He never could throw them out.

Neither said a word. It wasn't awkward. Dean didn't want to say anything and Cas didn't want too say the wrong thing, So he just looked at Dean's coat in his hands and put it between the space in-between them both, then looked back to the water. Watching as the raindrops hit the water, as they formed into one. There is a lot of unhappiness in this world, but Cas' liked these kind of things in the word that was magical. It could be more beautiful that heaven sometimes. But he didn't know what heaven looked like right now. It was his fault. He blamed himself all the time. He put his faith in that man; believable him and Castiel had to face, yet again, another thing he had done terribly wrong. Where all those angels were, they would be looking for him.

"You know the highest amount of rainfall that was ever recorded in 24 hours is 182.5 centimetres in Foc-Foc, La Réunion. It occurred during tropical cyclone Denise on January 8, 1966. And also the highest amount of rainfall that was ever recorded in one year is 25.4 meters in Cherrapunji, India. 1966 is such a long time ago. It's funny, clouds contain millions of tons of water, but yet, 1966 is still the highest. You never know when the next day will be. It could be today." Cas was like this one big giant information book with different subjects in it. There were times where Dean had walked in on Cas and Sammy just being nerdy together. It made Dean smile because if you take away how they know Cas and if Sam had just meet Cas at college, they would have been best friends, well they pretty much are now, but if this was all different, Dean would have been the brother who would of kept annoying Sam and Cas. And Dean would have been bored out of his mind listening to them. No, actually, more bored, he was already bored of listening to them.

"I got you pie. Last one." Cas said. Maybe saying he got Dean Pie would cheer him up. He hoped. He didn't know what was wrong with Dean. And Sam said he didn't know either. But the look in Sam's eyes told him differently. Cas had left to go and find Dean after that.

"Thanks, buddy." He had to say something. He didn't want to be rude to Cas.

"Put on your coat or you will end up getting the flu. The rain's getting heavier and you're already a little wet." Dean doesn't give him a reply. He stands up, stepping towards the edge of the water and throwing the stone as far and as hard as he could. It must have gone far because Dean didn't see it when it hit the water. By now it's sinking down to the bottom of the lake. He ran his hands through his wet hair, pushing the hair away from his forehead. He felt like crying and never stopping. But Cas was right there, he couldn't. And Dean hardly ever cries, he wasn't going to cry over this.

_I think I freaking love you. _

He could have said it out loud. Could of just found out the truth there and then, But no words dared come out of his mouth.

"Tell me what's wrong." Cas whispered, like he was only meant to say it in his mind.

"No. I…I just can't. You don't want too know." Dean didn't turn around; he just closed his eyes tightly.

"I know Sam knows. But he said he didn't know. He can't lie, just like you can't. I'd like to help…if I can." There was a pause. "I know I am not much use anymore-"

"That's _bullshit_." Dean turned around to Cas, whose face was filled with concern. "Angel or not, you are always going to be Cas. You have done more than enough and Sammy and I don't care if you have your powers or not. We are a family that fights with whatever we got." He honestly hated Cas talking like that. So what, that Cas didn't have his powers anymore. Cas meant a lot to them because he was Cas, not just some angel with powers and saving them a lot.

"If we are a family, then families help each other when the other is upset, so I am here to listen." If it was anything_, anything_ else Dean would have told him. But this was about Cas, he couldn't know.

"Cas, drop it."

"Dean. Please. I only want too help."

"Castiel. Stop. Before you make me ruin it." Confusion now covered Cas' face. Dean started to walk again. Cas wasn't going to let him go that easy. He stood up in front of Dean.

"Dean, let me in. I am worried, just tell me." Cas' voice was getting louder. What way could he get through to Dean? He knew Dean. He knew he bottled everything up inside, making him feel a million times worse. Or he would drink until he forgot for the day.

Dean's heartbeat increased as Cas put his hands on Dean's chest, stopping him from walking by him. He meets Castiel's eyes. He couldn't. It would pass. It would all pass eventually, wouldn't it?

"If you were still an angel you would know. You'd be able to know what it is. I think deep down you know but I just can't Cas. I'm not losing the closest best friend I have ever had. I just can't do that." Dean walked away. He picked up his jacket and walked away from Cas, leaving him to his thoughts.

He was going to lose Cas, wasn't he. Over this. Over some stupid feelings. Over something that may or may not be true.

* * *

Dean had gotten home half an hour ago too an empty house. Sam must have gone on the case. He was glad. He didn't need any more questions for a while, or for the rest of his life.

He made himself something to eat. After that was finished he took too an old bottle of whiskey. Poured himself a large glass and sat at the table on Sam's laptop. He looked up to see anymore usual deaths in the area. When there was none he went on Youtube and clicked on the first Bon Jovi song that came up. He turned the volume up as loud as it could go. It wasn't overly loud, but it would do. Dean popped his feet up on the table and let his head fall against the back of the chair, drink it hand. He never heard the main door open or the footsteps coming down the stairs. Between the music and him singing, how could he. His eyes were closed as he sang along to the sweet music.

_It's my life__  
__It's now or never__  
__I ain't gonna live forever__  
__I just want to live while I'm alive__  
__It's my life__  
__My heart is like an open highway__  
__Like Frankie said__  
__I did it my way__  
__I just wanna live while I'm alive__  
__It's my life_

"Dean!" Cas shouted a few steps away from him. He looked pissed. Being human really did change how Cas acted sometimes. But hey, he was human and this is the way they act.

_This is for the ones who stood their ground__  
__For Tommy and Gina who never backed down__  
__Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake__  
__Luck ain't even lucky__  
__Got to make your own breaks_

Dean would have kept going except the music got cut of from the screen of the laptop slamming down. Dean opened his eyes to Cas standing beside him, his hand on top of the laptop.

"You just interrupted me listening to-"

"Bon Jovi. Get over it." Cas walked away from the laptop and took the bottle of whiskey of the table and into the kitchen with it.

"Woo, woo, wooo." Dean gets up from the chair and ran after Cas into the kitchen. He was pouring the drink down the sink. The bottle nearly empty.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean tried to get the bottle but the drink was already gone down the drain. Cas sat the bottle on the counter and turned on the tap to wash the alcohol away. "You had no right. No fucking right."

"It's not good for you, Dean. Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand that. But what you don't understand is the amount of _shit_ I have been through and that-"

"What Dean, what exactly does it do? Does it make you forget for a few hours? And then you wake up the next day having to face those memories all over again and they are even worse. Talk about it, Dean. Don't drink it away for a few hours."

"Look at you, Cas! Human for a few months and you think you're an expert at what we should do. Well, hate to break it to you _angel_, it doesn't work that way. Go back to being old Cas because that's the one I fell in love with." And it wasn't meant to come out that way, but it did and Dean felt like jumping in a hole and never coming out. He froze at what he just said. He didn't know what the hell too do or say now. Maybe Cas didn't hear fully. Maybe he didn't hear at all. But by the look on his face, he did. _Shit._

He didn't know what he expected. Cas left the kitchen. No reply to Dean. He just walked away without a word.

Sam came back later telling Dean about how the woman he went to visit, her husband had had a lot of enemies. Dean pretended to listen. While the whole time he just replayed that scene with him and Cas over and over in his head. If Sam had noticed he hadn't said anything. He had smelled the drink of him and told him he would go on his own tonight to watch the woman's house in case her husband's enemies turned up, no doubt it would be a demon. He promised he will ring if he needed him.

* * *

Sam is gone for the night and Dean hadn't seen Cas since his little confessing. He lay in bed trying to get some sleep. He had his phone on the nightstand in case Sam rang. Something told him Sam wouldn't ring tonight, until and if he was near to dying.

The rain got heavier and heavier as it hit of his bedroom window. That just made it worse to get to sleep. All he wanted to do was shut his eyes, switch of his brain and dream of something nice for once.

A small knock came from his door and it opened slowly. Cas' head appeared in the doorway. Dean, despite what happened, couldn't help but smile. Every time it rained Cas always came into his room and annoyed him. Cas could sleep like a log. But he never could when it was raining as heavy as it is now. Kids grow up getting used to the noise and leaning to sleep with it like the wind and thunder. Cas was still learning.

"Are you coming over then?" Dean asked looking over towards the door. That innocent in Cas was all still there. He could hardly see Cas' face. Cas stepped into the room more and shut the door behind him. He wasn't going to come into Dean's room tonight, but he couldn't sleep. And even if they didn't talk that would be more than okay. Having Dean beside him is enough.

Cas slowly makes his way over to the bed. Dean moved over to the edge a little more to make room for Cas. He doesn't sit up, he just lies down still, facing where Cas is getting it. Cas got under the covers, pulled them over him and lay flat on his back. So was Dean, only he had his head facing at Cas, while Cas looked up to the ceiling. This felt okay, but looking at Dean would be a different story. He knew Dean was looking at him right now.

"You fight demons, angels, hunters, vampires…but yet…you are afraid of the rain." Dean wasn't making fun of him; it was just a hard thing to understand.

"I'm used to that. I'll get used to this some night." Cas whispered. Okay, yeah, Cas came into his room pretty much every time it rained and stayed in his room for the rest of the night. A lot of people do it that are just friends and that's what Cas and Dean had always done since Cas became human.

"I don't want you to. It's not as lonely when you come in. It's nice." Cas could hear that smile in the way Dean talked. And he finally took his eyes away from the ceiling and leaned the right side of his face against the pillow, looking to Dean. It was dark but he could still make out Dean's face. He had a little smile on his face.

"Yeah…it is." There is a small pause. "Dean…I, um, did you mean what you said?" Cas felt like he was holding his breath for a reply. His question is answered with the little nod of Dean's head.

"It's not just old Cas. It's this Cas to. This one's pretty cool." Dean doesn't know how he was able too but he managed a chuckle. Cas let out a little laugh to.

"Dean…I think I'm a little bit in love with _you_." Cas whispered so quietly that Dean just about heard it.

"I think I'm a little bit in love with _you too_, Castiel." There are the words Dean needed to get out._ Finally_. And guess how he found out if he was really in love with Cas? _Right, now._ Lying here with him, feeling like it's the most perfect moment and saying those words felt more than right. Cas lets out a laugh that is loud.

"What?" Dean grinned as he looked to a laughing Cas.

"I'm in love with Dean Winchester."

"How's that funny?" Dean tried to look offended, but failed.

"You tried to kill me the first time you met me. "

"Yeah…sorry about that." Dean smiled to himself.

"It shouldn't be this easy should it? After everything we have been through it should feel more difficult than this."

"It was difficult, Cas. It still is, but I just think because of this right now, it feels like it wasn't and it's a nice feeling. Thanks for turning me gay by the way."

"I don't believe in labels, Dean. People can call this whatever they want but this is only something you and me understand. No one else can understand our lives." Dean agreed. Everything gets labelled now and he couldn't give a damn what people thought of this.

Dean moved his hand across the duvet and tangled his right hand fingers with Cas' left hand fingers. Cas turned his hand to the side to put his finger's tangled into Dean's instead and closed their hands over each other's. They both looked to their hands tangled together.

Dean pulled his pillow closer to Cas' head. He puts his head beside Cas', their face's just a few inches apart. Cas turned his head back to the side to look at Dean.

"The rain never scared me." Cas confused as he looked Dean in the eyes.

"I know. Well, I guessed. I never stopped you thought. I didn't want too." Dean was losing words to say now. Cas knew the truth and that felt amazing. Amazing to know he felt the same. Sammy was right then. "Every night Cas. Stay with me _every night_."

"_Every night_," Cas whispered. He leaned his forehead against Dean. He has never been this close with Dean before, not that he didn't want to be, it was that he thought he could never be, that he didn't think Dean would ever feel this way.

Dean lay his head down on Castiel's shoulder, breathing in the smell of him. Cas put his arm over Dean's back and lay his hand on his waist.

"Cas…were you eating my pie?" Dean lifted his head slightly back to see Cas' eyes. "I can smell it of you."

"I was mad and it smelled nice and it was just there." Dean laughed against Cas' chest.

"If I wasn't so tired I'd kick your ass for eating my pie."

"Yeah but…you love me, so…" Cas grinned against the top of Dean's head.

"Are you going to play that card every time now? I literally just told you that five minutes ago. I can _love you_ and kick your ass at the same time."

"You could. But you won't."

"Yeah, your probably-"Dean yawned before closing his eyes and resting his head back on Cas' shoulder. "Right. I'll love you instead." Cas smiled and gave a kiss to the top on Dean's head before resting his on top of Dean's. They both drifted of shortly after that, not being able to keep their eyes open.

* * *

Sam came back around seven AM. Nothing had happened; all was quiet so he decided to come back. He heard no one up. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth before heading back to his room. He passed Cas' room, the door open and no one in the room. He knew Cas went into Dean's room at nights it rained.

He went to Dean's room, opened the door as quietly as possible. He sneaked his head in and saw Dean lying against Cas, Cas' head against Dean's and their finger's tangled. Sam broke into a smile and took out his phone. He took a picture before sneaking back out.

_About freaking time._

He went to his contacts and found Charlie's number and sent the picture to her with a message attached.

_Look what I just saw! About time, don't you think? :)_

If she wasn't already awake she would be pleased to wake up to this message. She had met Cas a few weeks back. She was really excited to meet him. And it didn't take her long to cop on the way Cas and Dean were. She had only said it to Sam, and said _in time they will. They just need time._

She was right. Time was _all_ they needed.

Sam went back into his room, to bed for a couple of hours sleep. Let's face it, when he woke up, he was going to have a hundred and a thousand questions for Cas and Dean. He wouldn't be surprised if Charlie came down after getting that message. After all she wasn't too far away and was coming down in a couple of days to see them any way's.

He needed someone to annoy Cas and Dean with. Dean would probably end up killing his own brother soon enough with the amount of questions Sam had and plus he did text Charlie as well. Well, how could he not?

* * *

Sam woke up to the ringing of his phone. He moaned into his pillow, not wanting to open his eyes. He moved his hand across the bed and onto the bed side locker where his phone sat. He pressed answer and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello," Sam mumbled. He hoped it wasn't anything to do with the case.

"Oh my god, Sam. Why didn't you text me back. This is so exciting!" Sam pulled the phone away from his ear. Charlie's voice was just too loud right now. "I'm on my way down to you guys. Yeah, yeah, I know I wasn't supposed to be coming for a few more days, but now I can't wait. I'm like two hours away."

"What time is it?" Sam started to sit up in his bed. He rubbed at his eyes.

"Ten. Are you only up?"

"I was on a case all night." Charlie kept talking for another good five minutes before hanging up. She said not to say to Cas and Dean she was coming down. Dean was either going to kill him for telling her or not mind and would love Charlie coming down earlier.

* * *

He had no dream last night.

It was a change. And he thanked whoever it was that he didn't have any.

It didn't take him more than two seconds to realize what happened last night. He smiled against Cas' chest. Cas was peacefully still asleep. His chest rising up and down slowly. He leaned his head back to see Cas' closed eyes, his breathing even. Dean laid his head next to Cas' on his pillow, their faces just inches apart. Dean let his hand go from Cas' that had been held by Cas' all night. He let his hand slowly go up his chest, up his neck and on the back of Cas' neck, playing with Cas' hair. He didn't want to wake Cas, but he did want to see his eyes.

"Cas…hey Cas," Dean whispered. He felt like a dick for trying wake Cas up, but he felt happy. And he hasn't felt a little bit happy in a long time. Cas still didn't wake. He was a heavy sleeper. I suppose being an Angel for so long and not sleeping can do that to you. _How could someone not sleep? _Dean thought. Yeah he didn't sleep for very long, but he still slept. His sleeping hours started to become longer and longer over time. Not just four hours a night.

"Dude!" Dean said a little bit louder. That woke Cas up. He moaned as he buried his face into his pillow. He moved his hand in front of Dean's face messing, as he pushed him away.

"Sleepy time." Dean chuckled as Cas dropped his arm between the space between him and Dean. Dean started poking at the side of his face.

"Dean," Cas laughed Dean's name. He turned his head around to face Dean's. "You're not nice. Let me sleep."

"Can't. Remember we have that case still. And I better see if Sammy came home last night." Dean smiled and got up from the bed. It was freezing. He picked up his jumper from the chair and threw it on him. Cas was looking over at him. Dean turned around to look back at Cas.

"You have to get up sometime. If you want food, get up." Cas is up in a flash. That made Dean laugh.

"What are we waiting for then? You're cooking."

* * *

Sam is sat at the table going through the case files again. He is starting to think this man's disappear was nothing to do with any demons. Surely last night at the house one would have showed up. He would see if any new information came in today, check with the man's wife again and if not this, may as well be a case closed. Maybe Charlie could help. She would be here in an hour. Or maybe she would be too busy over the fact that Dean and Cas are together.

They were one hundred per cent together. They just needed a push and last night seemed to prove that. If they came out and told him they weren't, he knew that was bullshit. And it's not like they wouldn't tell Sam, they are together most of the time.

Dean and Cas come into the room. Sam is going to pretend he didn't know anything, just to see if they would say anything first. So he acts like he never saw anything.

"You're still alive then." Dean joked as he sat down across from Sam. Cas took the seat at the top of the table beside them.

"Looks like it." They weren't giving anything away. What would they though? "I came back at six, not much else was happening and it seemed like an okay time to leave, I hope."

"We would have heard if anything happened. Did anything happen at all? Or was it just one of those really boring nights?"

"Well, actually I did see something, I'm not entirely sure what it means but it could help." Sam wasn't going to wait any longer. He couldn't even go a minute.

"Great! Let's see it." Sam took out his phone and went to the picture of Cas and Dean. He looked to them both first.

"Maybe you two could tell me if it means anything to you both." Sam smirked as he put his phone down in from of them both. They both looked at it for a few seconds before looking up at each other with smiles on their faces.

"Always knew you had a thing for Cas, Sam. But did I really need to be in the picture to?" Dean chuckled as he looked to his brother who was shaking his head.

"So did you both cop on eventually or are you going lie to me?" He looked to both Cas and Dean. Cas was looking at Dean, while Dean was looking at the picture again.

"It's exactly what it looks like little brother."

"Good. Because Charlie is going to be here in about an hour. I may have sent her the picture."

"Charlie, _really_?" Cas spoke for the first time since coming into the room. Sam nodded. He really liked her. And he liked how close she seemed to be to Sam and Dean. He had only met her once but for the whole time she was there, Cas and her did not stop talking. Dean and Sam eventually left here for a few hours to go on a case and left them to it.

"Great! We are going to have Lilo and Stitch now."

"_Who_?" Cas and Dean said at the same time.

"Really? The animation. Lilo the little girl and stitch the blue adorable thing." Cas and Dean shook their head's looking clueless. "I'm saying that's Cas and Charlie. " Dean gave up on them.

"I give up with you two. I'm going to make breakfast." Dean held his hands up in surrender and went into the kitchen leaving Cas and Sam alone. Sam took back his phone.

"Are you happy, Cas? Because if you have any doubts how Dean feels, he's happy. Trust me, he's happy." A little smile appeared on Cas' face. He didn't need to think of his answer.

"Yeah…I am happy, Sam."

* * *

Dean is happy. He is more than happy. How long it would last, he didn't know? He is just thinking of now.

He has the radio up loud and went around the kitchen getting breakfast ready. Sausages, eggs, rashers, and beans are on the breakfast menu for today. He was getting better at the cooking. He sang along to the radio as he cooked.

Dean didn't notice Cas standing at the door watching Dean singing. Dean threw the saucepan into the sink, and returned to the cooker when he caught Cas at the corner of his eye.

"Stalker!" Dean laughed as he looked to Cas who shrugged.

"I was just making sure you didn't burn the breakfast." Cas said as he made his way over to one of the counters near Dean and leaned against it, his arms folded over his chest.

"Thank you very much, but I am well able to cook breakfast. Everything else is done; it's just the beans now. They are nearly done. Will you get out plates and start putting the food on them and do not take all the rashers for yourself."

"I don't do that! That's Sam. You just never see him doing it and then he blames me." Dean turned off the gas when the beans were done. Cas is still standing in the same place, they both met each other's eyes. Dean took the few steps to Cas. He placed his hands either side of Cas, on the counter.

"Can I help you?" Cas joked as he let his hand's rest on Dean's hips. He knew right well, he just wanted to tease Dean.

"Yes. I believe what I want is something you learned from the pizza man."

"I learned a lot from him, Dean. I believe-" Cas was cut off by Dean's lips on his. It didn't surprise Cas because he knew it was coming. And he wasn't surprised how good this felt. He moved one of his hands up to the back of Dean's neck, pulling him even closer. Dean rested one of his hands against Cas' chest.

The kiss was slow at first but as the seconds went by it became faster and needier. Imagining what it would be like to kiss each other was nothing compared to actually doing it. Teeth hit against each other, smiles on both of their faces making it more difficult to kiss but not impossible. Cas sucked Dean's bottom lip into his mouth, making Dean moan a little. Cas sucked gently on it before letting go and swept his tongue against Dean's teeth, Dean letting Cas' tongue enter his mouth as his swept his own against Cas'. It was Cas who let out a louder moan this time as he felt Dean's body against him and the kiss getting deeper. Cas pulled up his other hand, letting it join his other hand on the back of Dean's neck.

"Cas…Cas." Dean was a little out of breath with good reason. His lips still just touching Cas'. "If we keep going I-I won't b-be able to stop." Dean pulled back a little to see Cas' eyes. But Cas had looked down between them and looked back up smirking.

"Okay. But that's not a bad thing not being able to stop." He leaned in to whisper in Dean's ear. "At least I can control myself. I'll bring the breakfast out." Cas laughed evilly.

"How can you control yourself like that?" Dean asked like it was the most impossible thing ever.

"Believe me, I was two seconds away from not being able to. You just stopped too quickly. You're kicking yourself now, aren't you?"

"Not really because my brother is in the next room. Besides Castiel, plenty of time, isn't there? Now go bring my brother his food before he starves." Dean gave a kiss to Cas' lips before letting go and picking up the saucepan, putting some bean's on Sam's plate. Cas picked it up.

"Not a bad first kiss between us." Cas smiled as he walked backwards out the door.

"Ha! That's one way of putting it. Round two later?" Dean said as he picked up his and Cas' plates and followed after Cas. Cas stopped in the doorway facing Dean.

"You're on."

They come back into the study room, sitting in their same places as before as they started to eat.

"Dean, it took you _forever _to make breakfast, but, it really is good." Sam takes a bite of his breakfast.

"Thank you. And it did not. _You_ just aren't patience enough, Sammy."

"Yeah…_that_ is the reason." Sam smirked as he looked to Cas who is enjoying his food too much to listen to what the boys are talking about. Dean saw Sam looking to Cas when he said it though and caught Sam's eyes when he looked away from Cas. Dean couldn't hold back the grin as he shook his head.

Cas was the first one finished eating when Charlie had rung and said she was outside. Cas was the one who got up to go and let her in. He actually legged it up the stairs like an excited little kid, which made Dean and Sam laugh.

"Okay so we should go to back and talk to that woman again. There is something not right about this. I mean no one was around last night and the demons, If it is them, are going to come back sometime for her. She's not telling us everything. So we just all go and you and I will go talk to her."

"Okay. Why can't we just leave Charlie and Cas here? We'll be fine on our own." Dean finished his last bit of breakfast and leaned back in the chair.

"Could. But it's no harm to have backup. And by the way_, at last_, dude. It's about time. Sorry for being a bit of a dick yesterday."

"No, Sammy, it's fine. I needed it." Running footsteps came down the stairs. Charlie appeared in the room. A bright smile on her face.

"Who's going to give me a hug then?" She said excitedly.

* * *

They made their way to the woman's house. Second time lucky. Sam was sat in the front with Dean. Cas and Charlie sat in the back.

"It's a great book, Sam. You should read it. You'll love it."

"I think I have to deal with enough of that stuff without reading it for fun." Sam chuckled.

"_Wait_, people read for fun?" Dean joked as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Yes, Dean. Maybe you should try it sometime." Cas joked.

"Oooooh. Nice one, Cas."

"_Son of a bitch_. I'm going to kick your ass when we get out of this car." Dean looked back to Cas who was laughing.

"I'm sure that's the only thing you're going to do, Dean." Charlie couldn't, _not_, say it. And Sam couldn't, _not_, laugh every time Charlie said something like that.

"I'm really glad you came down today, Charlie."

"Me to, Sam."

"I'm not!" Dean said loudly. He thought it was funny really, but he wasn't going to let them know that. He switched on the radio, putting it to what song that was playing. This way he could maybe stop them talking.

"Dean, turn it down, man!"

"My car, my music, my rules!" Dean chuckled and saw they were near where they were going any ways.

* * *

This is not how they expected it to go down. Sam was kicking himself now for not realizing sooner.

"I saw you waiting all night, Sam. When all along the little scared wife was the one who killed her husband. Well it was really me, I guess. You boy's just get in the way all the time. You just can't let a demon live on earth." She laughed as Sam was pushed up against the wall, not being able to move, and Dean on the floor, not being able to move. She had knocked him out and kicked and kicked into him. His eyes are half open as he looks to Sam.

The demon, Rose, walks up to Sam and runs the knife down the side of his neck and down his chest.

"You know what it's like to have demon blood inside you, but yet, Sam Winchester gets to run free. And never stays dead." Dean has blood running down his mouth, as he tried to spit it out, his body moved a little and the pain shot right into his side.

"Your brother will die straight after you…no, actually it would hurt you more seeing him die first. Wait your turn, Sammy."

Cas walks in to the house as the exorcism is being said by a familiar voice. It wasn't Cas', it was Dean's recorded one. The demon looks to see who's saying that. Cas stand's just outside the door.

"Which one of you is playing that? Answer me! Answe-" She screams as it starts to work. Sam falls away from the wall and onto the ground. He looks to Dean who has a little smile on his face. Dean had giving him a recording, knowing full well that they could get into a situation where they couldn't get the chance to say the exorcism. But the recording could, that is if it worked before it was found.

"No, argh, n-no!"

Cas appeared in the room, standing in front of the demon.

"Go back to hell where you belong, you little bitch!" Rage was in Cas' voice as the demon smoke is nearly out. Charlie appeared behind him, scared and amazed at seeing this. Cas stood back a little to keep Charlie away from it. In a few more seconds the demon was gone, her body falling to a pile on the ground.

"Oh my god," Charlie spoke as she looked to the body on the ground.

"Dean!" Cas shouted as he runs over to him, kneeling down beside him and pulled him up against his body.

"I-Im…okay, Cas." Clearly Dean wasn't. But anything to make Cas fell a little better. Charlie had gone over and helped Sam up from the ground. He was okay. The demon had gotten Dean first.

* * *

Sam had driven them back home. He had dropped Cas and Dean back home, while he and Charlie brought the woman to hospital and to explain everything to her. They wanted Dean to go to, but Dean refused saying he had been far worse than this. So that's how it came to them being here now.

Dean is talking a shower while Cas sat at the table, not doing anything, just worrying. Yeah Dean had ended up like this plenty of times, but every time he had, Cas held back on how much he was worried. He wasn't holding back this time. And yeah, Dean would be fine, but that didn't mean Cas wasn't allowed to worry.

Last night_, only_ last night did they tell each other the truth, which changed things. They knew how much more they meant to each other.

Cas heard Dean come out of the bathroom and into the study, in his grey tracksuit bottoms and his red t-shirt. His hair still half wet. He stopped as he saw Cas sitting in the chair, looking up at him, worry in his eyes. Dean is still pretty sore in his left side, but the shower helped a little bit. Dean knew why he was so worried. He held out his arms, with a smile.

"Come here, you." Cas did so. He walked into Dean's arms, resting his head against Dean's chest and carefully put his arms under dean's and lay his hand's onto his shoulders while Dean put his arms around the top of Cas' back and held him close, resting his head on Cas'.

A tear escaped Cas' eye. He hardly ever cried, but this is about Dean, he couldn't bare to lose him. Even more after last night. Dean could hear Cas' little sniffle, that just made him hold Cas closer and closer.

"Don't cry. Please, don't break my heart by crying. Its okay, Cas. You know its okay." Dean kept his voice steady. He knew the life they lived, but they had to, they didn't have a choice anymore.

"Were g-going to lose each…each other someday." Cas is right about that one. One day they would, but Dean would make sure that wasn't anytime soon.

"Someday isn't anytime soon. I promise you."

_Hold it together Dean. You can. You know you can. Do it for, Cas. Do it all for him. _

Dean kissed the top of his head. His lips lingered there, not pulling them away. His eyes tightly shut, blocking out everything bad. Just thinking of the man in his arms right now. Cas nodded his head slowly against Dean. He slowed down his racing heart for those few seconds. He looked up at Dean. Dean brought his hands around to wipe the tears away from Cas' face. They leaned their foreheads against each other's, eyes closed, listening to the other breathing. Cas' hand's on Dean's back. Dean's hands on Cas' shoulder's.

Seconds passed with them just standing in the silence, until till Cas pulled his head a few inches back. He looked into Dean's eyes and Dean could see what that look meant that Cas was giving him.

Cas moved away from Dean, taking Dean's hand into his and walked in front of Dean, Dean holding on and following Cas. Dean could feel his heart getting faster with _every second_, with _every step_.

Cas pushes open Dean's bedroom door slowly. He moves his fingers slightly against Dean's to make sure he still has him.

Dean shut the door after them. Cas let go of Dean's hand when they were stood at the foot of Dean's bed. Cas pushed Dean down gently to sit on the bed. Cas stood right in front of him. Dean pull his hands on either side of Cas' leg's and looked up to him.

"You sure?" Dean asked. The look in Cas' eyes told him _yes, _but now Dean just needed to hear it.

"I'm more than sure." Cas whispered back. He sits on Dean's lap, his legs either side of Dean. Cas lays his hand on Dean's chest, the other against the side of his neck. Dean's hands are griped at the bottom of Cas' t-shirt. He played with the bottom of it before pulled it up against Cas' skin gently. He pulled it over Cas' head and threw it onto the floor. Dean's lips connected with Cas' bare skin. He laid a kiss to his shoulder, around to his Adam's apple and down his chest before back up and connecting his lips with Cas'. Cas happily kissed Dean back. It wasn't rushed. It was slow, gently and caring. Dean put one hand on Cas' waist and the other on the back of his shoulder.

Cas let one of his hand's wander up Dean's back, running the tip of his fingers up and down Dean's gently skin. He let his hand fall back down and grabs the bottom of Dean's shirt now and pulls it over Dean's head and puts it somewhere beside them. He put his two hands down onto Dean's chest, pushing him down slowly onto the bed. He let Dean pull himself up higher on the bed, his head hitting the soft pillows. Cas pulled of Dean's tracksuits and onto the floor they went and his socks to.

Cas pulled himself back up to Dean's level, his mouth on his neck again. Trailing kisses down Dean's chest, this time going go his hips, letting his mouth stay there for a while, as he sucked onto Dean's hip. Dean held back a moan. There was _no way_ Cas could make him feel this way, but at the same time it wasn't a surprise. Cas let his tongue swirl around Dean's skin, and that felt nice. _Really nice_.

Cas pulled back for a few seconds to get rid of his jeans and socks. Dean looked as he did so. He was _beautiful_. _Christ_, he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. No one compared to Cas, to Dean.

Cas saw Dean staring at him as he turned back to Dean, throwing one of his leg's over Dean's other side. Cas put his hands above Dean's head and looked down at Dean.

"What were you thinking?" Cas smiled.

"Actually I am still thinking of how you are the most beautiful person I have ever meet." Dean whispered as he brought his hand up to the back of Cas' neck, bringing his face down closer to Dean's. Dean swore if his room wasn't already half dark with it falling to night, that Cas was blushing. He didn't get any more time to think if he was or not, because Cas' lips joined his again, this time a bit more needy. Cas' lips find themselves trailing kisses down Dean's body again. And Dean swore he could just come right there. Because Cas _loved_ him. And his soft lips trailed kisses down his skin. Cas found his way between Dean's legs, his lips kissed the inside of his thighs now. His tongue once again swirling against his skin.

_God, that felt so good._

Dean put one of his arms over his head, the other on his forehead. He glanced down at Cas, _nope_, bad idea. It just made it felt even better. Dean's breathing got heavier.

Cas stopped swirling his tongue and kissed further up Dean's thigh, kissed it gently until he got to the end of Dean's boxers. He slide one of his hand's gently up Dean's leg and rested it on his waist. The next second Cas was mouthing Dean through his boxers. Dean let out a gasp; he wasn't expecting that so soon. And not a second late that he felt Cas' tongue now. He could feel himself getting harder by the second and Cas knew he was and he himself was by the sounds Dean was making. He made his was back up against Dean's body. He faced Dean again. They rubbed against each other making them both gasp. Cas found Dean's hand above them and entwined there finger's.

"It f-feels so good, Cas. You feel so…good." Cas smiled against Dean's neck, happy that he was doing this to Dean. He bit gently at Dean's ear, sucking the end into his mouth.

"Do you want me to suck you of?" Cas whispered lowly. _Those words_. _Christ_, those words coming Cas nearly made him come then and there.

"Yes…y-yes. _Please_." Cas brought his face back around to look into Dean's eyes.

"I'll do my best." Cas really needed to stop teasing him, no matter how much he liked it. _God_, it was so freaking sexy. Cas didn't kiss his way down this time. He just went straight down, pulling of Dean's boxers. They landed on the floor. When Cas looked back, there was Dean fully naked, his beautiful body fully exposed. Ready for him. Dean was already hard, making Cas happy he had already done this.

"You really are beautiful." Cas whispered mostly to himself. Dean was back in the same position as before. Arm above his head and this time his other hand lying flat on the bed. Nothing could really prepare him for what Cas was about to do. Cas leaned down on his knees, kissing the side of Dean's cock, dipping his touch in and out. Dean was doing everything not to moan. He griped the bed covers. He wasn't going to be able to hold it in any longer. Cas ran his tongue up his length. Dean looked, looked for just one second, at Cas. He loved him. He loved him so god damn much. Dean let his head fall back onto the pillow when Cas took Dean whole in his mouth, slowly sinking down onto Dean. Dean let out a low deep moan. Cas hadn't even started yet. And then he began, moving his head up and down, getting as much of Dean in his mouth as possible, and making sure not to touch Dean with his teeth. He wasn't doing badly for someone who never did this before. Dean made him feel like he could do this right.

Cas bopped his head up and down, moaning as he did it every so often. Dean's eyes were closed as his head was thrown back onto the pillow. His hips moved up even so often, making Cas have to put both hand's on his waist from stopping Dean from choking him. _Still_ Dean moved a little.

"Ahhh…yes…feels…so g-good, Cas." Cas pulled his mouth up and swirled the tip of his tongue on the tip of Dean's penis. He licked some of the come away. Dean felt the lost as Cas pulled his mouth away. Cas leaned back up over Dean, who's eyes are still closed.

"Where's-" Cas didn't get to finished. Dean knew what he was going to ask.

"In the drawer. Cas?" Dean opened his eyes, seeing Cas' looking into his. "Don't use a condom. I'm clean a-and so are you. I just, I need to feel all of you." Cas didn't argue. He wanted that to. So he just took out the lube and returned back to Dean. Sitting on Dean's lap for a few seconds.

"Take your boxers of man!" Dean chuckled trying to get his breathing steady. Cas did so, as fast as he could. Dean's mouth was opened as he looked to Cas. He let his fingers run over Cas' chest.

"How on earth…do you know how to do this so well?" Dean asked as he was lost in looking at Cas.

"Porn and dreams," Cas smiled knowing that would make Dean laugh and it did. Cas lubed up his fingers.

"You're just taking charge aren't you?"

"Yes. You can next time." Cas smiled as he leaned down and gave a kiss to Dean's lips. Cas put the bottle to the side. "Spread your legs."

"Yes, boss." And Dean did as quickly as he could. "By the way if I come to quick, it's your entire fault." Cas smirked as his brought his hand down between him and Dean's ass. He found dean's hole and teased Dean for a second, his finger going around in a circle before touching the hole. He still didn't enter.

"You are such… a freaking-fuck! Ah…ah…Christ!" Of course Cas would push in when Dean was talking. Dean's hands gripped his own hair, throwing his head back again; eyes shut so tightly, his chest rising up and down faster and faster. Cas pushed in further, gently, so he wouldn't hurt Dean. After all neither of them had been with another guy before. When Cas felt Dean relaxed he pushed in more. And then added another finger. He was already hard himself, seeing Dean come undone like this by the second.

"Another…Cas. Another. _Please_!" Cas did as he was asked. He found Dean's spot that make him need more. He touched it every time, and Dean couldn't help but moan a little every time.

"Cas…Cas, I'm gonna come if…if you don't s-stop." Cas pushed against the spot one more time before pulling out. He got the bottle again.

"I want…I want to." Dean managed to get out. He took the bottle from Cas, putting some on his hand and rubbing it all over Cas' cock.

That felt good. Really good. Dean touching him, rubbing him, it all felt good. He was done to soon. But if they both kept at it, they would come to some. Cas rested his forehead against Dean's.

"I love you," Cas whispered as he opens his mouth.

"I love…you to, Cas. I-I love you, too." Cas kissed Dean deeply and hard before pushing Dean back down fully onto the bed. Cas lower himself down on Dean. Dean brought his legs up and wrapped them around Cas' waist. Cas spread his legs and placed his cock at Dean's entrance.

"Just tell me if it hurt's, okay? Or if I hurt your side." Cas said making sure.

"Okay. Just…just fu-fuck me, Cas." Cas put the tip right up against Dean's entrance and slowly pushed in.

"_Oh god_…my…fuck me!" Dean gasped as Cas pushed in slowly, holding onto Dean's hips. Dean's back rose from the bed for a second before falling back down, with no strength to hold himself up. Cas got his whole length into of Dean.

"Dean?"

"_Yeah_, Cas?" There was no way Dean was getting his breathe steady again until this was over.

"You feel really good."

"You have no idea…how y-you feel inside m-me right now? I n-need you to move. I n-need to make love t-to you right now, Baby." That was all Cas needed to heard him say. He pulled back out only leaving the tip inside and then pushing back it.

"Y-you beautiful. s-son of a bitch." Cas let out a laugh that turned into a moan when he pushed back inside of Dean and Dean's ass tightened around his cock. He felt so good, he wasn't going to stop. He held on tighter to Dean's hips, throwing his head back as he fucked into Dean, speeding up every time. Cas couldn't hold his body up any more. He let himself fall forward to Dean; his hand's either side of Dean's head. Dean moved his hands under each of Cas', his fingers through Cas' as they held each other's hand's tight. Dean looked up to Cas above him, still pushing in and out, faster and faster, harder and harder.

Cas leaned down and kissed Dean, there joined hands moving right above Dean's head. The kiss was sloppy and needy. Cas let his head fall against Dean's. Cas moaned into Dean's ear. Making Dean moan as well.

"Fuck…ah, ah fuck. So good. Felt's so-aaaaah ah ah ah ah." Christ Cas was the sexiest moaner every.

"Harder, Cas. Fuck me a-as deep as you can. Make me come so-so hard, Baby." Dean whispered into Cas' ear. He went deeper. Just when Dean thought he couldn't go any deeper and he found Dean's spot again. Cas slammed against it over and over again. Dean let his hand's go of Cas' and brought them around to Cas' cheeks, making Cas push in harder.

"That's it, Cas. R-right there. God! _Right there_!" Dean with all his strength found Cas' entrance and pushed in a finger.

"_Holy crap_!" Cas screamed as he bit onto Dean's neck. That felt amazing. Cas started to fuck himself back onto Dean's finger's getting him to his the right spot. Dean entered another finger.

"_Mmmm,_ yeah, that's it. Deeper Dean. _Mmmm _that's s-so good. _Ah ah ah_!" Dean was surprised they were both lasting this long, but it felt so fucking amazing, he never wanted to stop.

"Don't…don't stop, Cas. Slow-Slow down and then go faster." That's what he did. He slowed down as much as he could without feeling the need to push more. "I need to f-fuck you faster. L-let me fuck you good; let me make you n-never forget." Cas lifted his head and leaned his forehead against Dean. Both their eyes open.

"I'll n-never forgot, Cas. Never. Do it! Make me come as hard a-as…I ever have." Cas' arms lay against Dean's head, both his hands touching and griping into the pillow. Dean twirled his two fingers inside of Cas and found Cas' spot again. He made himself fuck into Dean and not back onto his fingers. He gained up speed, hitting harder and faster at Dean's spot. Dean gripped onto Cas' ass cheek tightly, pushing Cas into him more and pushing his fingers into Cas as far as they would go.

"Yes, yes, yes…yeeeees, Cas. Faster, Faster, baby!" Dean pulled his finger's out of Cas, he just didn't have the strength anymore. He let one hand fall onto the bed and the other running through Cas' hair. Their foreheads still together, their breathing heavy and fast. Dean fucked himself back onto Cas, not being able to control himself.

"I'm…ah ah…I'm going come." Cas panted as his speed slowly down a little.

"Come f-for me, Cas. Come on. Come as hard a-as you can." Cas' head dropped against Dean's neck.

"Oh…oh I'm coming too. I'm going come t-too."

"I'm so close. So, c-close."

"Cas, look a-at me. I want to see y-you come." Cas lifted up his head slowly, his forehead falling against Dean's, both their eyes opened, smiles on their faces along with lust and love. Cas put his hand in between his and Dean's body and wrapped his fist around Dean's cock, pumping it hard.

"_Fuck_! Oh yes, yes, ah, ah, ahhhh…"

"Dean, _Deaaan_…"

"Yes Cas. Yes! Cas, Cas…Casssss!" And dean was gone, coming all over their stomachs.

"Fuck, Deaaan…ah….ah….aaaaah!" Cas came straight into Dean. Dean felt Cas comes in him and Dean swore he would of come again just by that. Cas collapsed onto Dean's body. Both their chests rising fast, their breathing beginning to slow down. They breathed heavily against each other. Dean started to laugh between breathes.

"_My god_, that h-how was that sex? That was t-too good to be called s-sex." Cas laughed with him into his chest. Dean rested his hand on Cas' back, rubbing his fingertips up and down Cas' back.

"Better than d-dreams or porn. Way, _way_…better."

"Keep watching that porn Cas if that's how…good you are." Cas lifted up his head to look at Dean.

"So I wasn't bad for a first time then?" He knew right well.

"_Fuck of_. You were amazing. Best sex ever. Like, _ever_. Round two." Dean joked.

"_You_ wish. I could not do that for another couple…of hours." Cas gave a wink to Dean.

"Oh, I'll be ready."

"I'm sticky." Cas had a disgusted look on his face. Dean just laughed.

"You are not the only one. Is your penis still in me? Because I can't feel anything there right now."

"So it is." Cas pulled out of Dean. He could feel the loss of Cas inside him, but still felt when he came hard inside him. "_It's everywhere_! That is horrible."

"It's the joys of having sex, Castiel."

"Yeah, yeah. And by the way, that is a really big turn on when you say my full name." Cas whispered into Dean's ear. Dean moved his head to the side, facing Cas.

"Don't make me fuck you again, so soon. I'll know for next time thought…Castiel."

"Ummm, you do that." Cas put his fingers under Dean's chin. Tilting up his chin and kissed him. Dean didn't open his eyes when he pulled away, he just smiled. Cas made his way of the bed to get up. The next second Dean heard a thumb on the ground. Dean's eyes flew open.

"Cas!" Dean moved across the bed quickly and looked to the ground where Cas sat, his arm out stretched against the bed and looked up at Dean.

"Why can't I feel my legs?" Cas looked scared, Dean chuckled.

"Babe, great, _great_, orgasms tend to make your legs weak. You'll be okay." Dean got up from the bed making sure he wasn't going to fall and helped Cas up from the ground.

"Better?"

"Yeah, I can kind of feel them again."

"You are _ridiculous_. Lean against me till we get to the bathroom."

Dean had left Cas in the bathroom and had gone back to get their boxers and t-shirts. He entered the bathroom to find Cas just finishing cleaning himself dry with a towel.

Cas started to put on his boxers while Dean quickly cleaned up. When they were both dressed, Dean was sat on the floor, his head against the wall looking to Cas, while Cas dried his hands on the towel. Anyone could tell by looking at Dean, how much he was in love with Cas right now.

Cas threw the towel onto the toilet. Siting on the edge of the bath wasn't overly comfortable. He looked down to a grinning Dean.

"What are you grinning about?" Cas asked curiously.

"_You_. My boyfriend." That is the first time Dean said that and it felt good. Cas smiled back at him. "How that was the _best_ sex in my life."

"Plenty and I mean _plenty_ more where that came from." Cas' smile turned into a smirk. Dean pushes himself up from the ground and over to Cas. Leaning his hand's either side of Cas, who looked up at him.

"Good." Dean placed a sweet kiss to Castiel's lips and then to his cheek and whispered into his ear.

"I love you."

"Guess I love you to." Cas joked earning himself a push from Dean, but Dean caught him with both hands before Cas fell fully backwards.

"Got you." Dean pulled him to his feet. "And see how my side didn't hurt when we were having sex?"

"That's because I did all the work, Dean." Cas chuckled pulling away from Dean. "That's why the sex was _so good_." He whispered and went and opened the bathroom door.

"You want to say that again and there won't be a round two, _ever_." Dean raised his eyebrow, his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, like you could last that long."

"Oh, look who's cocky now. My ass hurt's because of you." Cas just laughed evilly and walked out the door, Dean following him."Castiel,"

* * *

Cas and Dean are sat together at the table on Sam's laptop. Dean should really fix his. That was for another time. The laptop is in front of Cas. He looked up to see about any more cases they could do.

It took him a while to get used to using a laptop. It really annoyed him at first. Going from an angel that could do pretty much anything, to falling and trying to use a laptop. But between Dean and Sam's help he got used to it. Something new always appeared that he hadn't a clue about. He was always looking to see if there was any news about strange things happening that could involve any of the angels. Well, fallen angels. Dean and Sam always protected him and were ready for them to come. Funny thing is, none of them had found Cas yet. He dreaded the day they did.

"There's something here about five people dying in a house in the last year. Another person died last week, which was living with their wife and two kids. They got out fine, it was just the man. He drowned in the bath tub." Cas looked down to Dean, who's head was resting on top of his folded arms, face down.

"Dean?"

"Um. Angry spirit died there, can't get to the other side, stuck in a shitty world, kills people for fun. The sellers of the house are asses letting people live there and either they know or just don't care. I'm going to go for the, they don't care, bit and just want to sell and don't care who dies." Dean mumbled, Cas just about making it all out. Well, that sounded just about right. Could be a lot more to it, but that's pretty much the cases with these type of things.

"So we are dealing with a few assholes and one angry spirit who just wants to be left along. We will wait till Sam and Charlie come back and decide when to go." Cas rubbed his hand up and down Dean's back.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked concerned.

"Yup," Dean lifted up his head and rubbed his eyes. He wasn't. He side started to get really sore. This was the sorest it was. It was okay till half an hour ago after Cas and Dean came out of the bathroom. Dean grinded his teeth as a pain shot up his right side. He hid the pain on his face, covering it with a smile. "I'm good." He leaned over and kissed Cas' shoulder. His eyes catch a glimpse of pictures from the five Dead bodies. Well, that was unpleased. Just when you think you've seen anyway a dead body could be, you see a new way. Dean closed that page down, the side of his face against Cas' shoulder.

"Why they put up those pictures of dead people, I don't know. They should have a bit of respect, whoever puts them up." The main door opened and shut and Sam and Charlie came down the stairs talking away.

"She's nice; I mean everyone seems nice until you get to know some of them. I guess we will see where it goes."

"You never know. Could be the one."

"Ha. We will see, Sam." They come into the study to see Cas and Dean sitting at the table. Dean pulled his head up from Cas' shoulder and looked to Sam and Charlie. Sam left a bag on the table.

"Everything okay? You both were gone for a hell of a long time."

"Yeah. Her husband is actually alive. Guess where he was?" Sam said, shaking his head.

"Did they have a secret underground place around the house?"

"Yes. At the back between the trees. Think, The lovely bones, style."

"Dude, no!" Dean couldn't process that.

"Dude, yes! And um, they had it, not for like if a hurricane came or that…"

"It was pretty much a sex dungeon." Charlie spoke up. Sam nodded his head with a disgusted look at his face.

"Kinky son of bitches." They all chuckled. "So, what did you both tell the police. Do they have to investigate the sex pit now?"

"No. They got told he got so drunk one night in another city, knocked himself out and woke up not remembering things about himself. He had enough money to stay in a B & B and it came back to him more and more every day. Best we came up with, but hey, they believed it. And as for explaining about the demon, they didn't want to believe it but she knew full well that's what happened and they have my number if it happens again."

"Well, good. They both okay?"

"Yeah. Now they can get on with their lives and the…sex dungeon."

"I bet you the impala that the fifty shades of grey book is down there."

"Where do you think they got a lot of the ideas?" Charlie shrugged.

"Wait, have you read it?" Sam turned to look at her. She didn't look embarrassed.

"I was curious. It's not even that good. I could tell you-"

"No!" Dean and Sam both shouted. Cas had typed the name into Google and had clicked on images for the book. It wasn't really images for the book. Cas titled his head to the side, confused.

Dean looked away from them and to the laptop, his eyes wide.

"Oh my god!" Dean said out loud. That was only supposed to be said in his head. He closed the laptop as quick as possible, slamming loudly.

"Dude! That's my laptop. Be careful." Dean didn't hear Sam talking. He was too busy getting over Cas looking at those pictures. Dean picked up the laptop and got up from his seat.

"You are not getting on this for a _long_ time." Cas bit the inside his cheek to stop himself from laughing.

"Was he looking at-" Charlie didn't get to finished. She knew though and looked very amused.

"No! No he wasn't." Dean said as he walked out of the room, leaving the other three laughing.

* * *

"Sammy, did you any pain-" Sam held up a bottle in front of Dean. He got tablets for Dean when he was out with Charlie. Dean had just come into the kitchen where Sam had just been unpacking the stuff he got.

"Thanks, man." Dean said relieved and takes the bottle from Sam's hand.

"If you're in a lot of pain-"

"I'm not. It's just my side. I'll be fine." Dean paused before adding, "Don't tell Cas." Sam gave him the, _Dean _look.

"Don't give me that look. You know how he feels not being to heal us when we are hurt. It kills him." Sam understood and gave a nod. But if it got worse he would tell Cas.

_It got worse._

Everyone is sat at the table eating. Charlie and Sam sitting across from Dean and Cas. It was nearly mid-night and none of them had noticed the time. Charlie was telling them what she had been up to since they last saw her.

Dean's beer is empty and he wanted another. He got up to fast the pain feeling like he just got shot. He had grabbed onto the side of his chair, keeping him from falling. His other hand holding onto his side.

"Dean," Cas said worried, he went to get up.

"Sit down, Cas. I'm fine." Dean had a little angry in his voice, not meaning too, but he just continued walking towards the kitchen. Cas knew now and Dean couldn't lie.

He opened the fridge. Took out a beer and faced towards the counter, his hands flat down on the surface. The pain started to ease with every second. As it did he opened the top of his beer and took a sip.

"Why did you lie to me?" He hadn't even heard anyone come in. What was he supposed to say to Cas. He didn't want to upset him, he didn't want to lie to him, what was he going say.

"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you." That was the best he could come up with.

"Fine. I'll go with that. _Why_ didn't you tell me?" Angry and sadness was in Cas' voice. Dean turned around. He shouldn't have. The look on Cas' face broke he heart. He looked like a puppy after getting kicked.

"What difference would it make? Cas, over five years, you have seen me get torn apart. How is a pain in my side even compared to this?"

"It doesn't. But the different between then and now is that you know I love you. You could have died today."

"Yes, I could have. That's a chance I take every day. I could die every day. Heck, I have died before. You know this, so just stop the bullshit." He regretted the words before he even said them. "Cas, I-" Cas had took those few steps closer to Dean, just inches apart. The slap came as fast as Dean could blink. He knew he deserved that. He looked back to Cas who had tears in his eyes.

Charlie and Sam had heard the echo of the slap and came into the kitchen. They stopped at the door, looking to Dean and Cas.

"If _loving_ you and _caring_ about you is bullshit, tell me why do you feel the exact same way you, _asshole_." Cas walked away as fast as he could.

"Cas!" Charlie shouted after him, but she got no answer. She was going to go after him, until Sam held her arm to stop her, telling her to give him space. He looked back to his brother, who looked at the space where Cas walked of.

"I told you, if there is _any_ happiness you can get in this world, take it. Take it with both hands and don't let go when you don't have to. _Do not_ treat him like that, and see a good person when he's right in front of you. All he does is care, Dean. Let him in, all the time. Not just whenever you feel like it." Sam was pissed. He brother could be such a dick sometimes. Sam walked out the door to. Charlie followed him not a second later, leaving Dean on his own.

* * *

Dean had given Cas his space. He knew Cas was upset and pissed at him, so he decided to give him his space.

That was until two in the morning and Dean hadn't slept. He just lay awake thinking of Cas who was just down the hallway. He wondered if Cas was lying awake or if he was asleep. He wanted to find out himself. So he got up from his bed, glancing at the window that the rain hit of as loud as it could. Dean made a stop in the kitchen first and then headed to Cas' room.

He knocked on the door. "Cas?" No answer. Dean chanced just going in, hoping he wouldn't get killed by Cas. Cas was in bed. Asleep or pretending, Dean didn't know. He crossed the room and was now standing beside Cas' bed. He put what he was holding in his hand down onto the drawer and looked to Cas, that had his back turned to him, lying on his side. Dean kneeled down and let his arms rest on the space on Cas' bed. Cas didn't move.

"Awake or not, I am going say this because you need to hear it." There was a pause. "You have knowing me for years and you know I hid things. I don't tell people things and I don't want to be a burden on anyone. And you could always heal me, and I didn't want to upset you by telling you because I see that look in your eyes _every time_. The look when you are broken because you can't heal the hurt. Even if it is just a sore side. You care too much and everyone knows it. But that's what makes you, Cas. And no one would change that." Dean lifter his left arm up to Cas' head and started running his fingers through the back of his hair. "I had four years of a childhood until it was turned upside down. And I know my mum would be giving out to me right now for pushing people away, for not letting them in. It's always been that way…and then an angel, Castiel, pulls me from hell, just when I had given up on everything." Dean's eyes started to water. "You brought me back to my brother. You gave me another chance at life. And you gave me you. My best friend. Sam and I w-we lose everyone we love. Mum, Dad, Jo, Ellen, Bobby…and every time it hurt's more, and you feel so numb. So, I don't w-want to lose you, Cas. The more I let you in, the more it will hurt and t-tear me apart if anything happened to you."

Cas was awake. He was listening to every word. Every word breaking his heart. He couldn't find the strength to move.

"But I'll try every day. I'll try to let you in a bit more every day. I-if it hurt's that means that person meant the world to you. And I don't need that to h-happen to know…that you do. Knowing that I loved you and n-not being able to tell you…that hurt every day." Dean remembered a day, which he could never forget. "You remember the day I ended up at your house, months after you going into that lake. I handed you back your coat. Why do you think I kept it? I knew you would come back to me…somehow. No matter what anyone said, or how much time went by, I knew you would." It was taking everything in Dean to tell Cas this. There is so much in Dean's head, so many thoughts, which are never spoking. "I had faith…even though you were gone. I need to have faith now, that no matter what happens, it will be okay…even when it's not. You made me…have faith, Cas. You…you are the faith I believe in."

Cas turned onto his back, looking towards Dean. Dean pulled his hand away from Cas' head and into Cas' hand in front of him. Dean gives a smile, even though broken, as tears fell down his face. Cas knew he meant every word. He knew how much it took for Dean to tell him all of that.

"It's raining again." Cas whispered as he looked down to his and Dean's joined hands. "I don't like it raining and you not being here." Dean let out a relieved laugh.

"I'm always here, Cas." Dean got in beside Cas, pulling Cas' body against his. Cas rested his head against Dean's chest and his arm over Dean's stomach. Dean kissed the top of Cas' head and leaned his against the top of Cas'. His two arms hugging him close.

"I brought pie with me." Cas chuckled against Dean's chest.

"Nothing say's I'm sorry from you, like sharing your pie." The only one who ever got pie from Dean was, Cas.

"I am you know. I'm so sorry. I'll let you in more, just bare with me, Cas." Cas leaned his head back to look up at Dean.

"I will. I promise." Dean leaned down, his lips colliding with Cas'. Dean brought his right hand up, placing it on Cas' soft cheek. The kiss was slow and felt a little magical. When Cas pulled back a little he looked to the drawer and back to Dean.

"I really want some of that pie." They both laughed. Dean leaned over taking the pie of the drawer with the two forks. They sat up and started to dig in. They both had just talking a bit when they looked to each other, gross appearing on their faces.

"That's disgusting!" Cas said. He spat it out onto his hand. Dean did the same. That pie wasn't nice at all. Sam had gotten that one just today.

"Sam!" They both shouted. Sam was going to be in trouble now.

* * *

Dean had just come out of the shower ten minutes ago. Sam was shouting at him to hurry up. He threw everything into his bag that he needed and made his way out of his room. Charlie and Sam are in the kitchen getting some supplies for their trip.

"Ready!" Dean announced.

"About time. Were just getting some supplies. Don't worry; I won't bring any of the pie I got." Sam rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I saw that. That pie was not pie." Dean looked around him. "Where's Cas?"

"He's your boyfriend. You should know." Sam joked as he opened one of the cupboards.

"And you are my brother, who should stop being a dick." Dean chuckled.

"He went outside." Dean is making his way out the door when Charlie spoke. "Dean, what made you realize that you loved, Cas?" It was a serious question. She just hoped she got a serious answer.

"Knowing I couldn't live without him. And wanting him here all the time." Dean gave a genuine smile and a wink at her. She returned the smile.

Dean walked over to his car and threw his bag in the truck, leaving it open for Sam and Charlie. He made his way around to the front of it, where Cas sat on the bonnet, his back against the window, his head against the edge of the top of the car and looked up to the sky. He had been out here a good twenty minutes, just enjoying the sounds around him. The clouds had started to clear, making the sky clear. It had been days of rain and today was the first day where it hadn't rained yet in the past couple of days.

"Hey, handsome," Dean grinned as he took a seat beside Cas. "Anything interesting up there?" Cas shook his head as he took his eyes away from the sky and onto Dean.

"Just clouds. You smell nice."

"That would be the shower gel Sammy got. It's a pretty strong smell. I don't know if I like it." Dean smelled himself seeing if he liked the smell or not. Sam got some random shower gel sometimes.

"I like it." Cas hoped of the car. He stretched his arms above his head, his t-shirt and shirt rolling up his stomach. Dean's eyes may have wandered there. He is wearing Dean's old shirt and his checked blue shirt. Cas has half of the buttons buttoned, the rest left unopened. Dean pushed himself down on the edge of the impala. Cas turned back around to look at Dean.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going too come over here and make out with me?"

"I believe I was just going to stand here." Cas joked as he took those few steps towards, Dean. He put his hands on either side of Dean's neck and leaned down to kiss him. Dean put his hands in Cas' back pockets and puller him closer. Cas' right hand wandered back into Dean's hair. His tongue entering Dean's moth, touching his with Dean's once in. Dean moaned into the kiss, making Cas smile against Dean's mouth.

"Contain…yourself." Cas managed to get out before kissing Dean again. Dean let one of his hand's travel up Cas' back and around to Cas' hip bone. Dean rubbed his thumb against it slowly.

"Mmmm," Cas moaned into Dean's mouth. Cas let his mouth travel to Dean's neck. Kissing down it slowly, his tongue dipping out every so often against Dean's skin.

"If you don't stop, I will not be held responsible for what I do too you right now." Dean whispered lowly into Cas' ear, making Cas stop what he was doing and looking into Dean's eyes.

"Good." Cas' mouth was back on Dean's. Cas' hand found his way under Dean's shirt and up his chest. Dean stood up, his lips inches apart from Cas'.

"Stop before I can't." Dean said. Cas just smirked, catching Dean's lips again. Dean, for a few seconds let him, before pulling away.

"You are _ridiculous_," Dean laughed as he walked away from Cas, distancing himself. "Just stand there and I'll stand here." Cas didn't listen, he ran up to Dean, putting his arms tightly around Dean's waist so he couldn't get away. Dean was up against the driver's door. He didn't try to get out of Cas' grip.

"Castiel," Dean just realized what Cas had said to him before about calling him his full name.

_And by the way, that is a really big turn on when you say my full name._

Dean let his arms fall over Cas' shoulders.

"You going let me go?" Cas shook his head.

"Never. How's your side?" Concern appeared in Cas' eyes.

"It's not so bad. The painkillers help. I'm sure it will be gone by tomorrow the pain." Cas let his hand disappear under Dean's shirt and onto his sore side. "It's not sore when you touch it. It actually makes it feel least painful." It wasn't a lie. With a touch Cas used to be able to heal, maybe that was still true. Cas looked down to Dean's side, his fingertips gliding over Dean's side. He looked back up to Dean who was smiling at him.

"You still heal everything you touch, to me. You're _still_ an angel." Cas didn't say anything back, he just rested his head on Dean's. It warmed Cas to hear Dean say that. He really did love Dean for that. He gave a long kiss to Dean's cheek and then to his lips.

"Wait, till we get there boy's." Charlie said happily as her and Sam walked to the car.

"Yeah, as much as I love you both, I do not need to see that." Sam half joked, half being serious. Dean and Cas didn't move away from each other, they just moved their heads in the other two's direction. Charlie and Sam threw the rest of the stuff into the booth. They looked back to each other.

"You okay?" Dean asked to just make sure.

"Yeah. I'm more than okay. Are you?"

"I'm in love with you. So, yeah." Dean and Cas smiled before giving one more kiss to each other's lips, lasting a few seconds and another quick peck before they pulled away from each other. Dean headed to the booth.

"Alright, let's get going." Dean pulled out his gun, checking the safety is on it and pulled the booth down.

They had been on the road for four hours, taking stops along the way. It was nearly pitched dark now and Dean could feel the tiredness take over him. He is determined to drive the whole way; there was less than two hours to get there. Sam is sat in the front seat with him and noticed this.

"Dude, let me drive before you get us all killed."

"I'm good. Were nearly there, anyway's." Dean held back a yawn.

"_No_ you're not, you're about to fall asleep at the wheel and we are over an hour away." Sam knew he was right. He wasn't letting Dean drive the rest of the way.

"Don't be stubborn, Dean. Let Sam drive. I'd like to get there in one piece." Charlie chuckled as she popped her head in-between Dean and Sam's seat's. They weren't going to drop it.

"Alright," Dean pulled over at the side of the road.

"I'm sitting in the front with Sam. You can sleep back here with sleepy head." Charlie nodded her head to Cas. He was leaned up against the right side of the car, his head lying against one of Dean's jackets, his eyes shut and yeah, he was sound asleep. "He's been asleep the pass half an hour." Dean didn't argue. They got out of the car swapping their places. Sam got in and Charlie closing their doors. Dean was the last one to get into the back. When he hoped in, Cas stirred a little.

"Dean." Cas mumbled, still half asleep, not opening his eyes. Dean moved over closer to Cas, putting his arms around Cas' waist.

"I'm right here." Dean whispered. That made Cas fall back asleep. Dean rested his head against Cas' shoulder, closing his eyes, and breathing in the smell of Cas. He listened to Cas' breathing that made him start to drift off to sleep.

Sam pulls out onto the road.

Half an hour down the road and Charlie looked back at Cas and Dean in a deep sleep, looking peaceful together.

"Do you think there always going to be together?" Charlie whispered, mostly to herself. She looks back out the window. Sam took a glance in the mirror, seeing his brother and Cas.

"Honestly? Yeah. However long the world gives them. With our lives who knows how long." Sam had learned to know that he would never know _when_ or _how_ his life was going to end, so he just accepted it that way. Like Bobby said, _go when your time is up_, that's exactly what Sam would do, wasn't it?

"Life's a mystery. That's good though. I don't want to know my future or how it will all end. It's just a guessing game." Charlie glanced at Sam before looking out her window, watching the world go by.

"_One_ day at a time. And for Cas and Dean, _one_ step at a time."

* * *

**THAT was the first sex scene I have ever written. I tried my best! And my first proper Destiel story. I am pretty happy with it. It was never meant to be this long, it started of as only going to be a few thousand words, but am glad it turned out longer, it was fun!**

**THANK YOU very much for reading. Leave a review and tell me what you thought :)**

**Sam and Charlie ship it! You just know they would in the show.**

**I make Destiel videos and I have one up, that in a way, could be a continue on from this story. If you would like to check it out, please do, link's below and once again THANK YOU!**

** watch?v=387TAWR-eeY Cas & Dean ~ Love Like This**


End file.
